Eliciting responses from the audience is a necessary action for almost any speech except for maybe the classic keynote type speech. Some audience members have deep bellowing voices that easily carry across the room, while others barely get above a whisper. Most people tend to fall somewhere in the middle.

In an effort to hear what a person is saying, most speakers will move very close to the person, ask them to speak up, and then repeat what they said to the rest of the audience. Three problems with this are…

1. By moving close to just one person, you are ignoring the rest of the room and the tendency for others to start small chatter will increase..thus less people will be paying attention.
2. Asking someone to speak up is fine, expect it has the same negative emotional anchor to it as using “shhh” to get a room to be quiet. It’s better to have them want to speak up, or quiet down, instead of you making them do so.
3. Repeating what someone says to the rest of the room doesn’t do any good to get that person, or others, to speak louder next time, because you just trained that person, and the rest of the room, that you’ll do the hard work for them.

There’s a better way to do this and I call it Playing Opposites.

If someone in the right front of your room raises their hand and you call on them, instead of moving towards the person, move to the exact opposite side of the room as they start to talk. The person will naturally talk louder because you, as the authority in the room who just called on them, moved away and they want you to hear them. Since they are talking louder, you won’t have to repeat what they said to the rest of the group. Lastly, now you are engaging the whole room because you are on the opposite side of the audience.

Try it out next time you are eliciting a series of responses from a group. If done right, it’s a little like you are dancing with the group…but they don’t know it .
 

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Over the past several months, three people I knew unexpectedly passed away, of which I’ve talked about previously on my blog. All three were relatively the same age as me which made death seem so much more real, because if it could unexpectedly happen to them, why not to me? Which got me thinking about what things, in my life right now, I’d feel were incomplete If I passed away tomorrow?

And so, for our communication starter this month, the question is, what three things in your life right now, would you feel were incomplete If you passed away tomorrow? Let’s take one minute to gather our thoughts and afterwards we’ll begin to my right.

<Out Frame>

I used the above story and question during a monthly meeting of entrepreneurs I facilitate. We start off each meeting with a communication starter to get everyone warmed up and thinking on a deeper level. Imagine if I had just posed the question, without sharing my story that led up to the question. The group would have responded, but probably not to the same depth as they did after I told my story. The story makes the question purposeful and will lead to more meaningful answers.

Next time you’re leading a group, instead of just asking an opening question to get the group talking, add a story as to why you are asking the question. Your story will make the question seem purposeful and the result will be a deeper level of sharing and a smoother run meeting.
 

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Nothing can tank, or pick up, the flow of a speech more than audience participation. When picked well, one would almost think you planted the person in the audience. But when picked badly, it leaves you, and the audience, in an awkward state.

In my Dance Floor Theory Leadership Training, I know 20 minutes into the program I need two volunteers to role play a really funny dance floor situation. To set myself, and the audience, up for success, I start identifying people, as soon as they walk in the room, who might make great volunteers. In this particular situation, I’m looking for someone who is naturally out going, liked by most the room already, and loves to laugh. When they entered the room, did they make a noise? Were they smiling or saying hi to people? Did they dance to the music playing? These are all signs that tell me who would make a great volunteer or not.

In another part of my talk, I need a male volunteer who is willing to be a little emotionally vulnerable on stage, but also ‘manly’ enough to warrant respect. Typically this ends up being a really nice guy who is tall and muscular. 

In any situation, the key is to start selecting your volunteers from the moment they walk in the room. Don’t leave it up to chance that you might just pick the right person at the right time.

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I think if a speaker spends too much time on the road without a strong anchor back home to either a group of friends or family, they start to develop almost cartoon like characteristics. I suspect it has to do with not having anyone around them to put them in their place from time to time.

“Why do you do that hand gesture every 3 seconds?”
“You really go on stage with your hair looking like that?”
“I have no clue what your talk is about.”
“I can’t believe you actually get people to do that activity.”

Most speakers get 1000x more credit than they deserve just because they are on stage and the audience is filled with respectable humans who don’t want to to be rude. So speech after speech, a speaker thinks they are doing great and thus ramp up their greatness even more. Without any critical feedback, the cartoon characteristics start to develop. I’ve seen it too many times from too many speakers. Access to critical feedback is the key to avoid this syndrome.

I was recently doing a Dance Floor Theory training, and in the very back of the room were two students that just wouldn’t stop talking. As a speaker, I’d prefer a txter to a talker because at least they don’t disrupt the rest of the room.

If you find yourself in front with a chatter box in the crowd, here are three tips to turn them into black boxes without having to do the dreaded “shhhh” or “please stop talking” plea:

1) The Silent Stare – From the front of the room, abruptly stop your talk and stare, in silence, directly at the offenders. Then, if they keep talking, slowly lower your shoulders as a sign of disappointment. At this point they almost always stop talking because either they see you, or the rest of the room makes it very clear that they need to stop talking.

2) Shift The Front – Chatter boxes tend to sit in the back of the room so they can talk and not be seen. It’s not that the people in the front of the room are any less talkative, it’s just that the people in the front are more scared to chat with a neighbor at the wrong times because you are only a few steps away from them. Your physical location sends a powerful message. If you physically move your body to be within a arms length of the chatter boxes, it’s usually physically intimidating enough for them to go silent. I like this approach over The Silent Stare because it’s more subtle and the rest of the room is unaware you are doing it, which is a great thing because they’ll keep their attention on you.

3) The Vulcan Death Grip - Let’s say you’ve shifted the front of the room and now are only a few arms lengths away from the talkers and they are still talking. The next step is to physically place your hand (without making any eye contact) on the person’s shoulder. The key is to not stop talking or make eye contact with the talker while you place your hand on their shoulder. Without eye contact or an interruption in talking, the rest of the room will once again not know what is going on, which is the best you can hope for. (hat tip to @ryanferguson83 for the title of this one)

I’ve never had anyone willfully continue to talk after I’ve applied these three tactics on them. One thing to ask yourself during your program is why they are talking in the first place. it’s very possible that you are not doing a good job delivering your content or it’s not very engaging content. In either case, I’d suggest going back and reviewing my Wondering Eyes tip/trick.

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There’s a sour joke in the speaking world that if you think a speaker is amazing, funny, smart, etc, then you should listen to them a second time.

Speakers have to deliver their program like they are saying it for the first time…every time. Most of the great ones do that really well. But if you’ve spoken in front of the same group a couple years in a row, chances are, there are going to be repeaters. People who’ve heard your message, joke, or story already.

Here are three tips to keep even the repeaters engaged:

1) Drop the Worst 10% - Jerry Seinfeld says that every year he drops the worst 10% of his comedy show, so even if someone is a repeater, they are at least hearing 10% of new content. I tend to evolve around 40% of my programs per year, so to me, 10% seems low to keep things fresh and relevant for the audience, and for yourself. What ever percentage it is, the commitment to mixing up some part of your program each year already puts you ahead of many speakers.

2) Assign Special Missions – Ask the organizer for a list of repeaters and reach out to them ahead of time and tell them you have a special mission for them since they’ve already seen the program. The mission should be something that gives them a special role in the talk (lead a group, share an example, etc). This will keep them engaged and happy. We often ask the repeaters to all wear their DFT or Free Hugs shirts, but not tell anyone what they mean, as the meaning is revealed in the talk. It makes them feel like they are in on the joke before anyone else.

3) Pre/Post-Huddles – Meet with the repeaters ahead of time, or afterwards, to give them extra bonus content that the rest of the group won’t get. If you position it as “advanced concepts” it will make them feel special.

The repeaters will most likely only make up a small percentage of the audience, but to ignore them is a mistake because as veterans, they will be much more comfortable expressing their opinion during the program and afterwards on the evaluation sheets.

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One of my very first professional speaker/facilitation trainings was almost eight years ago and the only thing I remember was our trainer telling us to “look for the limo.” To you the phrase probably means nothing beyond the literal meaning. But to me, as soon as I say it, I flashback to his story and the point he was making. He took a phrase that seemingly had no value and attached a value to it. He also picked a phrase that was short, simple, and kinda fun to say. This is what is called a Phrase That Pays…which is itself a phrase that pays .

Had the trainer said “look for what’s sitting right in front of you,” it would have made the point, but no one would remember it the next day…or even the next hour. Here I am eight years later and I still remember.

Comb through your program and pull out your key learnings. Once done, convert each learning into a Phrase That Pays using these four key attributes…

• Short,
• Simple,
• Fun to Say, and
• No Prior Values Attached.

Eight years ago, back-channelling (quoting) a speaker’s content online didn’t exist. Now it’s hard to find a conference where the content isn’t shared with hundreds of other people online who couldn’t attend. So, in addition to the four attributes above, make sure your Phrases That Pay are Tweetable (under 140 characters).

Planting Phrases That Pay into your speech will not only extend your content to a larger audience, but also ensure that your content will be remembered longer.

Look for the limo.

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#7 – Keeping Focus

If you use powerpoint, know that anytime there is a visual on the screen, that is where people are going to look. The first time you put it up there, you can expect 99% of your audience to look at it. Then, over time, most people will turn their attention back to you, but if you leave the visual up there, some percentage of people will keep looking back at it, even if you’ve moved on well past that point.

As soon as you are done with the screen and the point, or if you are telling a story, and you want the attention on you, turn your powerpoint to black by either muting the powerpoint, or placing a black slide in your deck. This is called “going black.” Either option will draw the audience’s attention back towards you, which is exactly what you want.

#8 – Black Screen Malfunction

Per point #7, I strategically “go black” throughout my talk to keep the attention on me. At a keynote I did recently, the tech crew thought that my black screen was actually a malfunction of the projector. So in the middle of my talk, a tech guy walked up to the projector and pressed the reset button. The screen tuned blue while it reset, and the audience focused their attention on him instead of the story. Make sure to let your tech people know ahead of time if you plan to “go black” during your talk.

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Looking for a speaking/presentation/keynote coach for your career, job, or upcoming presentation? Email me > tom [at] swiftkickonline [dot] com.

I’ve never thought about public speaking as a reflection of self, but Sam Harris really digs into what I think is the root of why so many people are scared of public speaking…

“Pathological self-consciousness in front of a crowd is more than ordinary anxiety: it lies closer to the core of the self. It seems, in fact, to be the self—the very feeling we call “I”—but magnified grotesquely. There are few instances in life when the sense of being someone becomes so onerous. The experience is analogous to having a pain in your gut that lingers on the margins of awareness but seems impossible to pinpoint or describe—until you are supine upon an examination table with a doctor probing your abdomen:

“Does that hurt?”
“No.”
“How about there?”
“Not really.”
“How about—”
“Ow!”

Yes, that’s where it hurts. For one who is terrified of public speaking, standing in front of a crowd exploits the cramp of self in a similar way. Yes, that is the problem with being me. Ow… The feeling that we call “I”—the ghost that wears your face like a mask at this moment—seems to suddenly gather mass and become the site of a psychological implosion.”

I’ve also seen the opposite of this in which speakers use the stage as a way to mask who they really are. On stage they are explosive with their set piece, but pull them off course or question their research and the glass house falls down. People will always give the person on stage a thousand times more credit then they deserve just because they are on stage.

Any decent speaker should be able to motivate a group of people during his/her program so they leave feeling excited and motivated. It’s a lot harder for a speaker to be able to give an audience not just motivation, but also tangible content that they will be able to turn around and use to keep the motivation going.

Curious to know what type of speaker you are? Here’s a quick test…

At the end of your training a lot of people will probably come up to you and tell you positive words about the talk and how it inspired them. Before they leave, quickly ask them, “Thanks, that’s really nice of you to say. What specifically did you like the most?”

From here, you’ll get one of two answers…

The first response will be something like, “Oh, I dunno, the whole thing! It was all just amazing!!!”

The second response will be something where they repeat back to you some of the content or tell you how they are going to use the content in their life.

The first response will tell you that you just motivated them and the motivation will most likely disappear in a couple days. The second response will tell you that you not only motivated them, but you also gave them tangible content to keep the motivation going. When you get the second response, that’s when you know you won.

At your next speech, I dare you to try this experiment out. The results can be an eye opening moment for you and your speaking career.

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Looking for a speaking/presentation/keynote coach for your career, job, or upcoming presentation? Email me > tom [at] swiftkickonline [dot] com.