Over the past seven years, I’ve spoken at a lot of schools with our Dance Floor Theory Student Leadership Training program. I’ve always considered myself more of a theory/practice type of speaker than motivational/inspirational. It’s not that I don’t value the motivational/inspirational type talks, it’s just that every time I tried to go down that road, it didn’t feel natural to me. So I stuck with being the “smart” speaker.

Yesterday, however, at the closing keynote for the #SAtechBOS conference, I decided to try on a new hat and see what it would be like to mix more motivation/inspiration into a “smart” talk. The talk was brand new and one I’d never done before which made me extra nervous. It was in front of a lot of people I truly respect and was streaming live on the internet to anyone who wanted to watch. I also didn’t finish the slides until 2am the morning of the talk because I kept wanting to shift things around. Needless to say, I was nervous.

In the end, the talk came together in a way that totally blew me away and based on the comments that filled up the Twitter Backchannel (see below), I walked away from the conference totally humbled by the impact the talk had on the group. I’ll remember this talk for a long time to come.

P.S. The video of the talk should soon be posted online at which time I’ll also share the slides.

#satechBOS Officially crying in this keynote @tomkrieglstein . Going home tonight to thank both my mentor and my mentee for inspiring me.

August 3, 2012 12:55 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@ColleenCentral

Colleen Bunn

If you’re not inspired or reenergized after listening to @tomkrieglstein, check your pulse. #satechBOS

August 3, 2012 12:56 pm via Tweetbot for iOSReplyRetweetFavorite

@timstjohn

Tim St. John

Everyone has some brain leakin’ out of their ears…@tomkrieglstein is dropping epic knowledge / asking big questions. #satechBOS

August 3, 2012 12:33 pm via Tweetbot for iOSReplyRetweetFavorite

@EricStoller

Eric Stoller

@tomkrieglstein is giving one of the best presentations I have ever heard! #satechbos #thanks4theInspiration

August 3, 2012 12:52 pm via Twitter for iPadReplyRetweetFavorite

@PMaxQuinn

Max Quinn

@tomkrieglstein Best part of the whole day! #satechbos #sachat

August 3, 2012 1:00 pm via Twitter for iPhoneReplyRetweetFavorite

@briannemcd

Brianne McDonough

How many people's eyes just got watery in the room or on the live stream? Mine did! Thanks for inspiring us, @tomkrieglstein #satechbos

August 3, 2012 1:03 pm via Twitter for iPadReplyRetweetFavorite

@jdcrash

Jimmy

I'm not big on keynotes, but @tomkrieglstein gave a good, thought-provoking, and well-presented talk. #satechBOS

August 3, 2012 1:05 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@istudentaffairs

StudentAffairs.com

@tomkrieglstein the best keynote I have ever had the privilege of hearing! Thank you. #SAtechBOS

August 3, 2012 1:05 pm via TweetCaster for iOSReplyRetweetFavorite

@RichFox13

Richard Fox

That is what an authentic, genuine, engaging, inspiring speaker is like! --> @tomkrieglstein #satechbos

August 3, 2012 1:05 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@JoeSabado

Joe Sabado

@tomkrieglstein That was an amazing keynote. Thanks so much for inspiring all of us. #satechBOS

August 3, 2012 1:19 pm via Twitter for AndroidReplyRetweetFavorite

@ChrisCFaulkner

Chris Faulkner

It was an honor to meet @tomkrieglstein, and another to hear him speak! #authentic #awesome #satechBOS

August 3, 2012 1:29 pm via EchofonReplyRetweetFavorite

@walker_desiree

Desiree Walker

Watched @tomkrieglstein bring down the house as #saTechBOS's final speaker. He gave me inspiration for a new blog post.

August 3, 2012 1:36 pm via Twitter for MacReplyRetweetFavorite

@sportsgirlkat

Kat Hasenauer

.@TomKrieglstein Officially the most moving and empowering speaker I have ever heard! #satechbos http://t.co/7IGODjCb

August 3, 2012 1:38 pm via InstagramReplyRetweetFavorite

@Thomas_A_Kelley

Thomas A. Kelley

@AndrewGresenz Loved @TomKrieglstein talk. 1st time I realized all my ed experiences - K-12, college - led me here.

August 3, 2012 5:43 pm via webReplyRetweetFavorite

@IlySaw

Ilyana Sawka

I’ve been doing Dance Floor Theory Leadership Trainings since 2004, which is a long time and a lot of students. Any good speaker knows the feeling of getting off stage to a whirlwind of buzzing students excited to talk. Many students energetically say they will follow up later, but sadly most don’t. Every so often, however, an email comes in, like the one above, that warms my soul. I spoke to her group 4 years ago and to know what I said, and how she received it, still sticks with her today. That’s a special moment for me. It’s an honor for her to let me be a part of her journey.

There’s a sour joke in the speaking world that if you think a speaker is amazing, funny, smart, etc, then you should listen to them a second time.

Speakers have to deliver their program like they are saying it for the first time…every time. Most of the great ones do that really well. But if you’ve spoken in front of the same group a couple years in a row, chances are, there are going to be repeaters. People who’ve heard your message, joke, or story already.

Here are three tips to keep even the repeaters engaged:

1) Drop the Worst 10% - Jerry Seinfeld says that every year he drops the worst 10% of his comedy show, so even if someone is a repeater, they are at least hearing 10% of new content. I tend to evolve around 40% of my programs per year, so to me, 10% seems low to keep things fresh and relevant for the audience, and for yourself. What ever percentage it is, the commitment to mixing up some part of your program each year already puts you ahead of many speakers.

2) Assign Special Missions – Ask the organizer for a list of repeaters and reach out to them ahead of time and tell them you have a special mission for them since they’ve already seen the program. The mission should be something that gives them a special role in the talk (lead a group, share an example, etc). This will keep them engaged and happy. We often ask the repeaters to all wear their DFT or Free Hugs shirts, but not tell anyone what they mean, as the meaning is revealed in the talk. It makes them feel like they are in on the joke before anyone else.

3) Pre/Post-Huddles – Meet with the repeaters ahead of time, or afterwards, to give them extra bonus content that the rest of the group won’t get. If you position it as “advanced concepts” it will make them feel special.

The repeaters will most likely only make up a small percentage of the audience, but to ignore them is a mistake because as veterans, they will be much more comfortable expressing their opinion during the program and afterwards on the evaluation sheets.

 Like this one? 

Check out the rest of my speaking tips or bring one of our Swift Kick programs to your school.

Last week I was part of a panel discussion for TiE on the New York startup scene. I was invited to talk about my experience as both a TechStars Alumnus and founder of Red Rover and AlumniChoose.

Before the event officially started, everyone was casually networking around the room. At one point a lady popped into my conversation and introduced herself and asked what I did. As soon as I finished describing AlumniChoose, she tapped the shoulder of someone nearby and said we needed to talk to each other. As soon as she brought the two of us together in a handshake, she walked away without saying anything. Then a few moments later, she tapped another person I was talking with and pulled him, mid-sentence, away from our conversation and into another one. I continued to watch her work her “magic” around the room and she kept repeating the same system over and over.

In Dance Floor Theory, we teach student leaders to be spatulas of the dance floor. In other words, we teach them to be facilitators of relationships and to focus less on the event and more on the introductions that happen from the event. In doing that, we want them to connect people together around shared interests. Then, once that relationship is started, move on to another group and make more connections. By the end of the night, everyone should, in theory, know everyone else, which makes for a great, long-lasting, dance party. Hence the picture above.

In theory, that’s what the lady last week was doing, but it rubbed me the wrong way, and here’s why…

• Genuine Interest – When she asked me what I did, I thought she was genuinely interested in what I did, but in reality, she was just trying to figure out who she could connect me to as fast as possible. It felt cold, which is the opposite of a relationship. Had she asked me a couple follow up questions, it would have felt much better.

• Right Timing – Knowing when to pull someone into and out of conversations is a bit of an art. But one good rule to follow is don’t pull someone out of a conversation mid-sentence, unless they want you to. This lady not only pulled someone out of a conversation mid-sentence, but it was within a few minutes of having her just introduced us together. We were just warming up our conversation, and she cut it off. A relationship takes time to build roots.

• Make It Natural - Once you see how a magic trick is done, the magic is gone. DFT is magical when done right, but like a magic trick, if you reveal to the audience how you are doing it, it’s no longer natural and feels forced. The lady last week made her ‘introduction game’ so obvious, that I then doubted the value of the introductions she was actually trying to make happen. She was going for quantity over quality and in doing so, her magic trick was reveled.

I suspect the lady thought she was being smooth and helping connect everyone to everyone else in the room. Overall, she probably was being more helpful than harmful, because most won’t even think to make introductions like she was. But the real art is in the practice of making it seem like you aren’t even trying and that you genuinely want to connect two people together because they actually should connect, not becuase you want to make your dance floor better.

While hanging out in Central Park, I watched a large group of people picnicking in a grassy area nearby. Without attempting to stare too much, I’d glance back to the group every five minutes. Each time I looked back, everyone had switched places. It was one big social waltz where everyone mingled with everyone.

Thinking back on events I’ve either hosted or attended, the best ones involved some kind of social waltz where no conversation dragged on too long and everyone mingled and connected with everyone.

Sometimes a social waltz happens organically, but more often, it’s up to the host (you) to make the social waltz happen.

In Dance Floor Theory, step two in turning a bad dance into a good dance is to introduce people to each other. DFT alumni should recognize this step as the “uh have you met uh” moment in the training.

As the host of an event, you get to make the social waltz happen. At first it might be tough, but over time it builds and eventually the dance should continue on without you.

KLM leveraged Social Media to creatively engage their traveling customers with a pattern interrupt of happiness. Imagine if your campus had a Social Media Prize Patrol that would track students down via public tweets and deliver them a pattern interrupt of happiness. (video)

To learn more about Blender Events, click here.
To learn more about our Dance Floor Theory Leadership Training, click here.

After seven years of helping colleges create their own events on a campus-by-campus basis, we thought it was time to step up the game. This year we’re bringing together 10,000s of student leaders and student groups from all over the world to participate in one single event on one single day. Introducing the 1st Annual Collegiate International Free Hugs Day happening on 11-10-11.

After a successful response of private invites who’ve already signed up, it’s time to publicly open the RSVP doors to any school and/or student group who’s ready to take on the challenge with 10,000s of peers from around the world.

Through a smart phone Free Hugs app, you’ll be able to see the total number of hugs given throughout the day. Can we reach 500,000? 1,000,000?

RSVP your school and/or group and be a part of the historic 1st Annual Collegiate International Free Hugs Day!

Like Joseph Campbell’s famous Hero’s Journey philosophy, we like to divide college students into 5 different stages of engagement based on the Engagement Pyramid below…

Each stage is defined by a different set of characteristics of an individual. Fully engaged individuals display a different set of characteristics than apathetic/uninvolved individuals. Thus, the way we interact with individuals in each stage should be different. A “5″ doesn’t want to be treated like a “Neutral.” And treating a “Neutral” like a “5″ might be too much too soon and thus demotivating.

Once we’ve recognized an individual’s stage, then the next step is to move them gradually up the Engagement Pyramid step-by-step. In our Dance Floor Theory program, we call this X+1. “X” being the stage an individual currently is in and “+1″ being the next step that is challenging enough for that indivdual, but not too challenging (e.g. +3) which might be demotivating. If you think of it like a video game, video games do an amazing job of knowing your current level and knowing what the next motivating challenge is for you. That’s the same thing as X+1.

The hardest step on the Engagement Pyramid is moving someone from a “Neutral” to a “1.” Where a “Neutral” is someone who doesn’t care and is indifferent to anything you do and a “1″ is someone who actually pays attention and is curious. Once someone is a “1,” it’s much easier to continue to move them towards a “5.”

Ask most educators and they will tell you student apathy is huge on college campuses. Campuses are filled with “Neutrals,” however most of the activities we do on campuses are geared towards “1″ through “5″ people because they are the ones who will pay attention to our flyers, emails, and Facebook invites and take the extra effort to actually show up to an event. But what about the larger percentage of our campus that are “Neutrals?” What can we do to engagement them, to give them their X+1 moment, and to move them from a “Neutral” to a “1?”

Enter Free Hugs…

Well actually, Free Hugs is just one example of thousands of examples of events we call Blender Events. Blender Events serve two purposes…

1. Cause people to have a pattern interrupt throughout their day. Or as we say in Dance Floor Theory, get people to go from “Meh” to “Hmmm.”
2. Build peer-to-peer relationships by mixing people together with near-peers. Near-peers are people who are models of success that are just a stage or two ahead. In the Engagement Pyramid, a near-peer to an “X” would be a “1.”

Every time we host a Blender Event on campus and cause a “Neutral” to have a pattern interrupt in their day, or get them to go  from “Meh” to “Hmmm,” or connect them with a “1,” then we are supplying them with an X+1 Moment. The more X+1 Moments they have, the harder it will be for them to stay a “Neutral” as they will start to display characteristics of a “1″ whether they want to or not. And once they are a “1,” then we can work on getting them to become a “2.”

So there you have it, That’s the ‘why’ behind Free Hugs. As you may have noticed, it has very little to do with the actual Free Hugs event and more to do with the introductions/connections/relationships that happen from the Free Hugs event.

They made these shirts specially for the training since they saw me do Dance Floor Theory a year ago at Alvernia.