(got this text from a friend today, but I haven’t responded yet because I don’t think I can accurately answer via text)
It’s such an innocent question, but yet can be so loaded based on the depth of my desire to answer.
Running a business really is a non-stop roller coaster of emotions. One day the sun is out and unicorns are marching along to a happy tune. The next day the world might as well come to an end as everything is ruined. It seems a bit dramatic, but really the swings are crazy in growing a business and can happen over the span of a few weeks, a few days, or sometimes even within the same day. I feel like I’m in a constant sensory overload.
One of the most valuable skills I learned over the years is the ability to manage my emotions and not get wrapped up in the swings. I’m also really good at putting things in perspective, because really at the end of the day, I still have my mental and physical health, with a great wife, and a roof over my head…see, now everything is better again .
On the worst days, all I want to do is rant about it to people (employees, customers, investors, Annie, etc), but many times that’s not possible because I have to keep the positive image for the sake of the company. Also, not everyone is built to deal with such swings and thus it’s not fair to dump on them because they might deal with it in a much worse way than me.
Today I walked to pick up Annie and thought about listening to a podcast on the way, but there was so much noise in my head that I needed to sort out, that I opted to walk in silence. I needed the walk to help me sort through my own thoughts. Taking walks really puts me at peace which explains why, rain or shine, I try and walk every day.
I wish I could say that such situations aren’t normal, but really I think every day I need some time, usually at the end of the day, to just white balance myself. Writing on this blog and mediation in the morning both help, but on the bad days, even all the skills I’ve built up over the years of being an entrepreneur aren’t able to help me cope. The stress is constant and usually coming at me from five different directions. It’s like I’m in a state of perpetual growth and challenge.