It’s 5:30am and I’m waiting for my Supershuttle to the airport, but quickly wanted to record a feeling I had last night that shook me to the core.

My alarm was set to go off at 4am, but for whatever reason I woke up at 3:50 instead. I looked over at my wife and something about the light coming in from our window gave her face a pale, blueish color. A moment later I realized I couldn’t hear her breathing. I went into panic mode and quickly shook her body while calling her name. In what felt like an hour, but was probably only a half-second, she didn’t respond. Then she took a deep breath in and said my name and asked me what was wrong. She was totally fine.

My heart was beating so fast. My mind was racing. I felt a sense of sadness I’d never felt before. The feeling was so deep it felt like it was burning my soul. I was in pure panic mode for a few moments and 90 minutes later, I still can’t shake the feeling out of me.

4:00 PM UPDATE…

I’m now in Erie, PA gearing up for a keytalk to kickoff a leadership conference for the Penn State – Erie student leaders. I just got an email letting me know a really close friend’s wife just passed away unexpectedly and she was 6 1/2 months pregnant. My brother knew the wife really well (they went to grad school together). I became close friends with the husband over the past four years. Just a week ago we were having drinks together updating each other on the exciting things happening in our lives. Everything was great a week ago. Now his life is totally different and I suspect he is feeling, and will feel for a long while, the same deep burn of sadness I felt for only a few brief seconds this morning. My soul burns for him right now.

Yesterday I wrote about the idea of impermanence of life and it’s days like today that make me stop, take a deep breath in, and not take one moment of life for granted.

As part of our application for the NBC Today Show my wife and I were a part of, one of the questions was to list the hardest thing you’ve had to face in your life. My wife quickly listed a few really good options while I struggled to create my list. After a few minutes of thinking through my life, I put down a few options. My wife, rightfully so, laughed as she read through my list of nominal life challenges.

In reflection, I realized I’ve never had a life challenge happen to me that made me question whether or not tomorrow would happen. I’ve never had to doubt the permanence of life.

On the surface it’s a blessing and I have my parents to thank. Growing up on a small farm in rural Michigan meant we didn’t grow up with everything, it’s just that I grew up with really good parents.

The counter to the blessing is that the pressure to do something today, because there might not be a tomorrow, doesn’t exist. I assume tomorrow will exist, as will the next 70 years of my life. Thus, I don’t have to worry about going after the big stuff right now…I can do it tomorrow, or next week, or next year.

But that pressure is exactly what can push people to new levels. And without that pressure people might procrastinate.

Some people have a life challenge that automatically forces them to understand impermanence and if they deal with it as a blessing or curse is up to them, which we’ve read about in countless biographies.

Over the past three years, I’ve spent a great deal of mental energy synthetically developing an impermanence pressure inside me. Now, everyday, I have a sense of urgency to take on the day and make the most of it, knowing that I might not get a tomorrow.

Here are a few things I’m doing to built up my value of impermanence…

1. Making my word my bond
2. Valuing time like gold / high time integrity
3. Committing to others / having accountability partners
4. Relying heavily on goal setting and metric tracking

A couple weeks ago, I posted this cryptic update that several people asked me about…

Proud day for me to be the husband of @anniecolbert and get to travel through life with such an amazing person.

June 15, 2012 4:17 pm via HootSuiteReplyRetweetFavorite

@tomkrieglstein

Tom Krieglstein

Today Mashable made it official that my wife (known as ACbert on my blog) will be the editor of their new viral channel called Mashable Watercooler. In short, the goal of the channel is to be the pulse of all things viral on the web, such as…

My pride for her comes from a place of seeing her work hard every day at being a better writer with the highest level of integrity and quality. So when good things happen for her, some will think it’s luck, but I know it is because of the hard work she does and that she never settles for where she is in life. 99.99% of people would never push themselves to grow as much as she did and continues to do so. That’s what makes me excited to have her as my life traveling partner.

My first business was selling old edition textbooks online through a company called DiscountedDepot. It was very lucerative for me until the bookstores, I contracted with, realized they could do the same thing and cut me out. I really enjoyed growing the business, but I also really enjoyed growing my knowledge about how to grow a business. This was the first time I realized I had a love for not only the team (DiscountedDepot), but also for the game (business).

When Kevin and I started Swift Kick to do college leadership trainings, we got excited every time a new school booked us. In four years, we grew Swift Kick to be one of the top leadership training programs in the country and were voted top speakers on the college market for three years in a row. We loved seeing Swift Kick (the team) grow, but we also loved dissecting the game (college speaking).

My love for the team and game spreads beyond just business.

When I got engaged to ACbert, I started asking everyone around me, with marriage experience, what advice they’d give me as a male going into a marriage. Then, when we actually got married on Feb 5th, 2009, I continued to ask that question. In love, just like my textbook selling business, I’m extremely passionate about not only increasing the success of our marriage, but also about growing my understanding of what ‘love’ is. Once again I have a love for the team (me and ACbert) and for the game (love).

My knowledge hungry approach for the team and the game continues to stay with me as I ramp up Student Launcher. The better I understand the game, the more successful I can make the team.

Each Spring, ACbert and I usually join two soccer leagues and one softball league. All the teams are fun groups, so not only do we enjoy playing, we also enjoy hanging out with the different groups.

I usually only join a team after I’ve looked ahead on my calendar to know for sure that I will be able to make most of the games, which is what I did this season. Even though I expected to only miss a couple games this season, I’ve found myself more often than not responding to the weekly RSVP emails saying, “I’m out.”

It’s annoying and frustrating as I truly enjoy playing and hanging with the various teams, and making a commitment I don’t keep. But the reality of making AlumniChoose successful is that all hands need to be on deck at all times, but when excatly that is, isn’t something I can plan ahead for. Startups tend to flow on a month-to-month basis, if not weekly. Long term planning and startups aren’t the best of friends.

For my 30th birthday, ACbert got me a beer brewing kit as part of her 30in30for30 adventure idea. She had known about my home brewing aspirations for a while, so this was the perfect gift. As soon as I got the kit, I opened the directions and dug in…

Two months later, I finally had the chance to taste my first batch. I twisted open the bottle, took a deep chug…and spit it out. It was horrible. I mean below Miller Lite horrible. It was so bad I had to rinse my mouth out with water.

Similarly, over last summer, we bought a bread machine and I was equally excited to start baking my own bread, so I opened the directions and dug in…

Three hours later, I opened the beard machine lid, tore off a chunk of bread, stuck it in my mouth…and spit it out. It was horrible. I mean Wonder Bread horrible. It was so bad I had to rinse my mouth out with water.

Similar starts and similar ends, but here’s where the two stories split. With the beer, I needed to wait two months every time I wanted to re-test my strategy, whereas with bread, I only needed to wait three hours. That meant for every one beer batch I got to test and improve on, I tested 40+ bread batches. Which one do you think I got better at faster?

Entrepreneurship, especially in the early stages, is all about testing your hypothesis as fast as possible so you can either ramp up successes, or move past failures. The faster you get to test, the better. The longer you have to wait between each test, not only does time slip away and costs go up, but the number of possible variables that might be causing the issue becomes much higher, which makes it harder to know exactly what variable was the issue.

After my first couple batches of bread, I discovered that our machine required more water than the directions called for. Out of all the possible reasons why the first batch was bad, it was easy to pin-point exactly what was wrong within two days. Now, not only do we make great bread each week, but we also love to experiment with new types of bread because we don’t have to worry about the basics any more.

Now it’s your turn. If you have an idea, think about how you can test your idea more like a bread maker verses a beer brewer.

Last month I went on a ski trip with friends to Mount Snow. It was my first time at Mount Snow and only my second time skiing in many years. Growing up in a flat-land state, Illinois, didn’t provide many opportunities to ski beyond the local converted garbage hills.

I like skiing, and now that ACbert and I live on the East Coast, we’re making it a point to get better since there are plenty more opportunities to ski here than back in the Land of Lincoln.

To challenge myself on this year’s ski trip, I went down a blue hill that was narrow and steep. Mid-way down the slope, I braced for a hard fall as I lost control and wobbled on my skis. In my mind I kept saying, “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” I knew it was going to hurt. Yard sale, here we come!

But then, just as I thought I was going to fall, I caught myself and regained balanced. I was safe.

When I got to the bottom of the run, my legs were still shaking from nerves.

“Oh shit” moments happen when you go past your comfort zone, when you do something that may, or may not go well, but based on your skill level you should be able to successfully complete and live to tell about.

Trying something that is too far beyond your skill level brings you into the danger zone because either you will get seriously physically hurt or mentally/emotional over whelmed with the difficulty of the task that it becomes depressing. In skiing, this would be like me trying a double black diamond slope.

If it were a video game and I just completed Level 1, replaying Level 1 would be my comfort zone, playing Level 2, 3, or 4 would be my growth zone, and anything past Level 4 would be my Danager Zone. If life were a video game, no one would think about sitting around in Level 1, but so many do.

Too few people push themselves into “oh shit” growth moments because it’s a lot easier to not. But growth, and thus life, happens during the “oh shit.”

My wife continues to dominate the print media with yet another article about her job as a Ghost Twitterer. Her last media cameo was in Wired Magazine. This time it’s for a Swiss newspaper with a full page headshot! (full image)

On the grand scheme of things, I’m very much a marriage newbie as I know couples who’ve been together for 30, 40, and even 50 years! But like everything in my life, I love learning, getting better, and then helping others to do the same. Marriage is no different.

An interesting self-reflection, and probably shared by many male minds, is my desire to fix what I can see is broken. If a chair screw is loose, I want to tighten it. If a bulb is out, I want to change it. If a gas tank is empty, I want to fill it up. It’s easy to fix what I can see. But what about the things I can’t see? Intangible things are harder to fix because they are harder to identity as broken or not.

Love and marriage, in their entirety, are intangible things. Beyond the tactical actions of love and marriage, there is no physical gas tank to know if things are getting better or worse, and since my mind likes to work with tangible objects, one trick I’ve created is called “The Love Plant.”

A house plant that hasn’t been watered in a week will probably die. But if you give it water on a regular basis, it will continue to be healthy and grow. The same is true for love and marriage. Both need to be watered to be healthy and grow. So I now have a virtual plant in my mind that represents my relationship with ACbert. Every day I check in with my Love Plant to see if I’ve taken the time to water it or not.

By turning an intangible into a tangible, I find myself taking the extra moment to write her a note in the morning with her tea and in those little moments our marriage continues to grow and be healthy.

Without a doubt, ACbert and I have the perpetual travel bug. I suspect she has the bug more than me because she enjoys all the planning leading up to the actual trip. Much of the fun for her is in discovering the perfect location at the perfect price. I just like the trip.

Our trips, however, aren’t how most people travel. Instead of a vacation, we call it a relocation. Instead of seven to ten days of solid vacation where we say goodbye, unplug, and turn on our email vacation auto-responders, we bring our laptops, only rent places that include internet, stay much longer, and continue to do work as usual, except our “office” view is much different and breaks/evenings/weekends are filled with adventure. Even little things like buying cereal are new and exciting if you are in a different country. You’d be surprised how remote you can get and still get internet. While in the past we’ve done an eight month relocation, the last two trips were a month each and that feels about right.

One of our life themes (kinda like goals but more a way of living verses an end point) is what we call The 3-2-1 Traveling Plan. What it means is that every year we do three extended weekend trips, two week trips, and one month relocation.

We’ve already started 2012 off strong with our January relocation to Utila, Honduras and an extended weekend trip to Vermont to ski with friends and another extended weekend trip with friends in the works.

So now back to Utila. It’s a tiny island off the coast of Honduras. Roatan is its bigger brother and where most people who come to the area go. We went one step further by riding on Captain Vern’s catamaran to and from Utila. The island is only seven miles long but has some of the world’s best diving and snorkeling. We spent the majority of our time about two miles outside of “town” in a tiny 250 square foot hut with 280 degree ocean views, and sounds, waking us up and putting us to sleep. We had more adventures than I have time to write about, so instead, below is a list of our highlights. If one sticks out to you, next time we see each other, ask and I’ll share.

• Taca Airlines Breakfast Service
• Seat Upgrades?
• 2 Hour Wait for Captain Vern
• Expat Robert Johnson (sand flies, cocaine, and toothless)
• Captain Vern’s ‘Front Row’ Seat
• A Whale!
• NYC Cable TV?!?
• Bogart The Cat
• R.J.’s Bar & Grill
• Booze Hound R.J.
• Another Rumanade Please
• The Locals
• Kid Golf Cart Drivers
• Caskets And A Dental Check Up
• Doh! Forgot the Kindle Cable
• Cheap Beer is Cheap Beer
• Imperial Wins Best In Show
• The Island Costco Run
• Country Music Shopping
• The Wednesday’s Boat
• Avocado Everything
• The Bootleg Library
• Island Mas
• Island Annie
• Mary Lee’s Tuk Tuk
• Morning Sunrise
• Bed By 9, Up By 6
• The Bug Infestation (Chuckie)
• “Are we over 500 Lemperia?”
• Eastwood the Eagle Ray
• Paloopa The Dog
• “Paloopa, Don’t Eat My Throw Up!”
• Paloopa Walking To Town
• Sally? Her Name Is Sally?
• $150,000 For All Tradewinds
• Plastic Washed-up Everywhere
• Cocktails On The Palapa
• Icabad, Ebob, Half-Tail, and Petey The Iguanas
• Jingle –> “Annie Colbert Expert Iguana Spotters”
• Tom’s Wealth Of Iguana Knowledge
• Land Crabs
• The Broken Sandal Walk
• Our Electronic Hiding Places
• The Moving Ghost Chairs
• Random Power Outages
• Joshua’s Camera
• Island Time
• Gill the Gecko
• Gecko Poop
• La Hucho Gang
• Bat Swram
• Instagram it!
• The Electrical Shower Handle
• Hopeful Hitchhikers
• Me Casa, Su Casa (Private Property)
• Too Many Drinks At El Picante (John)
• NPR Is Sponsored By The New School and Porgy and Bess
• Toasted Tortilla Shells
• Finally Natural Peanut Butter!
• The Biggest Chip Bag Ever
• Sh*t Mas Says
• Sh*t Annie Says
• Millie The Macaw
• “Is The Water Calm Today?”
• Butterball Turkeys
• Baby Crabs On The Curb Scramble
• The Water Shortage
• Where The Heck Is Coral View!
• The Secret of Coral View
• Societal Division At The Public Beach
• Hammock Work Day
• Oatmeal Mask
• “I Just Got Stung 3 Times, One In The Lip.”
• Roundtrip Private Island Snorkel #Fail
• The Pelicans Are Taunting You
• “Banana Spiders Are Harmless.”
• Jellyfish Killed My Wife
• Haircut On The Palapa
• Plata, The Local Rum ($2 Liters)
• Our Prisoner Passenger
• Let’s Play, Where’s The Shotgun?
• Stained White Diving Shirt
• “Can Glen Adopt Me?”
• “Now That We’re Heading Home…”(Cockroach & Spider)
• Bu-Bye Utila, Hu-Low 200 Student Leaders (Pace University)