Instagram Photo by @AnnieColbert

Relationships are built on the number of emotionally charged shared experiences between individuals. 9/11 was a huge emotionally charged shared experience for America. The experience started on 9/11/01 and lasted for weeks and months afterwards. It seemed like all of America opted to put down their differences and pause to love their neighbor. It was unreal and amazing, but I missed it all.

I was studying at the Goethe Institute in Berlin, Germany during the Fall of 2001. Berlin is six hours ahead of New York City. When the first plane hit the North Tower at 8:45 a.m. EST, it was 2:45 p.m. in Berlin. I just got home from school and sat down to watch the BBC. I didn’t have a computer then, so the BBC was my only source of information. A few moments later, my parents in Chicago called. We cried on the phone together. Then I hung up and I sat alone in my apartment. My girlfriend, now my wife, called and we talked. We cried. Then I hung up and watched the BBC for the next 12 hours. I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t sleep. My parents called a few more times and we talked and cried. Then I was alone again. I wanted to so desperately talk to someone, a fellow American face-to-face. But I sat in my apartment and watched BBC. Too shocked to move.

The next day I went to class and everyone’s face was ingrained with hours of crying from the night before. We broke our “German Only” rule to vent with one another even though most of the class weren’t native English speakers. It helped. It made me feel like I was home. We cried some more. It was sad. The next day, one of the other Americans in the class decided to end her trip early and fly back home to Texas to be with her family. I stayed.

The next couple weeks I read, heard, and watched more and more stories of massive vigils and gatherings happening around the U.S. It was as if America was one big family and though we had our differences, it didn’t matter. Every house flew an American flag. The pictures were amazing. The videos were amazing. The stories were amazing. I spent hours at the internet cafe absorbing as much as I could.

I stayed in Berlin through the New Year for my class. By the time I flew back to Chicago, the emotionally charged shared experience of 9/11 was mostly faded. People were getting back to their routine. There were no more group vigils and the number of flying American flags went down.

My wife does her best to try and explain what it was like the days, weeks and months after 9/11, but explaining it is secondary to actually being there. It’s as if I went to the bathroom during the critical part of a movie and have to keep asking people what happened. But unlike a movie, I can’t rewind 9/11. I forever have to experience it through the lens of other people.

I have my story, but it’s not the same emotionally charged shared story as the rest of the country, so I still cling to every new story I hear as if somehow it’ll help me piece together what it was really like to be here, in America, with fellow Americans.

This is the final edited version that ACbert and I helped a friend do for the 48 Hour NYC Film Festival, which I talked about before. Our role was to play a Hollywood power couple with a twist. Don’t blink or else you’ll miss our 10 seconds on the big screen .

Yes, taking a bus from NYC to Pittsburgh takes eight hours and flying only takes two hours. Yes, it would actually be cheaper to fly if I added in how much my per hour cost is and added that to the cheaper bus tickets.

But it’s 2:58 in the morning, I’m drinking a beer (I snuck on the bus) while listening to This American Life, and ACbert is fast asleep on my lap. That is priceless.

We’ll be able to fly for the rest of our lives, but for now I’m going to enjoying a bus trip with the one I love curled up sleeping on my lap while we road trip to Pittsburgh because that is something I don’t see a lot of older couples doing.

When it comes to money, I’m a planner. Every month I put together a “Krieglbert Equity Chart” and share it with ACbert. Finances are easy when everything is mapped out, but life is more complicated than a spreadsheet.

For the past two days our cat, Layla, has been throwing up and refusing food and water. All signs of trouble. The cost of an emergency vet visit started at $600 with xrays. Last time our other cat was sick, it ended up being a Urinary Track Blockage that cost around $1800 to fix. The short is you just never know.

While it’s a great habit to financially plan, it’s unhealthy to obsess over a plan because life is guaranteed to throw a curve ball. Mentally, and emotionally, fixating on unexpected expenses in which there is nothing I can do will probably cause me more in personal medical bills down the road than if I just let the feeling pass like clouds in the sky.

In my business financial planning I use an 8% monthly cash buffer to anticipate the unexpected. It not only helps me better guessimate my cash flow, but now I realize it also helps me better manage my emotions when the unexpected comes up.

I need to add a monthly cash buffer to my personal life budgeting as well, so next time I’m sitting at a vet’s office at 3am, like I am now, with an unexpected bill in hand, I’ll know it’s ok because I accounted for it.

4:35am Follow Up: Vet suggested an ultra sound and additional support costing around $1500, just to figure out what is wrong. And if something is wrong, expect the bill to top $4000. Ugh.

That’s right, tonight we went to Tranny Bingo at the Bowery Poetry Club with another cool couple we met last weekend. Out of the 75 people playing, ACbert walked away the big winner of the night by winning three of the six rounds including the money pot of $205 dollars! The other two prizes were a light up fish tank and two free drinks from the bar. It was a rather epic night beyond just the fact that ACbert won 50% of all the prizes. You’ll have to ask me in person sometime to get the full story . Nothing better than spending a Monday hanging with new friends while experiencing something new. 

I come from a pretty artistic family where everyone at some point was involved in a musical, play, or band. The need to be artistic is kinda engrained in me. Two things on my bucket list are to perform in a musical and rock a concert with me singing solo while playing piano. Someday I’ll get to them, but for now most of my work is outside the theater world, so when my friend Kevin Daum asked if ACbert and I wanted to help him put together a film for the 48 hour NYC Film Festival, we excitedly said yes.

Since ACbert and I have minimal professional acting experience, our role in the film involved us playing a “hollywood power couple” without any actual lines. There’s a twist to our part, but you’ll just have to wait for the release to see .

After watching the skill level of the other actors, it was probably a good thing we didn’t have any lines, because our inexperience would have easily shown through.

It only took 15 minutes to film our part, but we stuck around the entire day because it was interesting to watch the whole process of putting a film together.

Film making shares a lot of similarities to running a business…

• One person needs to have the clear vision in mind at all times.
• It takes a whole team to actually achieve the vision.
• The last 20% of perfection will kill you, and the clock.
• Consistency matters.
• Too many creative cooks is counter productive.
• Everyone has to have clear tasks.
• Free food goes a long way.
• Someone, besides just the main person, should be watching for quality control.
• Most of the hard work happens before and after.
• Success often involves long nights and early mornings.
• It’s not all creative work all the time.
• Technology levels the playing field.
• Good talent is the real competitive advantage.

If you’ve been involved in making a film or theater production, what else would you add to this list?

Twice a year the sunset lines up perfectly with every east-west street in Manhattan. New Yorkers call it…Manhattanhenge. ACbert and I made it a point to check out this year’s Manhattan Solstice in action. While the sunset was impressive, the crowd of people running in and out of the street during red lights stole the show.

via CoolPicGallary (because iPhones just don’t take pics like this)

The growing crowd waiting for a red light

I know her!

ACbert got sick at a wedding last week in Chicago. The sickness is still lingering and, a week later, she’s still not well enough to go outside for very long. Normally it’s not a big deal as weekends come and go. But this weekend is Memorial Day and the weather has been simply beautiful and our friends coordinated a picnic at Governor’s Island today. I was looking forward to hanging with them but Annie woke up this morning still not healthy enough to go out.

I wanted to go to the picnic, but I also know marriage/relationships comes with a set of responsibilities like taking care of your partner when they are sick. I was in a funk for a little bit about not going, but quickly got over it and focused my energy on being present with ACbert. We made veggie wraps, a vegan cake, and watched a movie. ACbert also has an amazing ability to make the best of bad situations. The day ended happy because we chose to make it happy.

For most, today is Tuesday, May 10th. For 1.5 million Americans plus their family and friends, today is World Lupus Day. Lupus is often known as the silent killer because it is vastly under funded, reported, and treated. Lupus is a complicated autoimmune disease in which the immune system attacks a person’s own cells and tissues along with a plethora of additional side effects. There is no conclusion on how one gets Lupus and there is no single test for diagnosis. For those living with Lupus, which is 90% women, it’s something they’ve learned to live and deal with on their own terms.

My wife Annie has Lupus and has lived bravely with it since 2000. Today, while searching for a work related computer file, I randomly stumbled on a paper she wrote in college about her life with Lupus. In honor of World Lupus Day, please educate yourself about the disease and read Annie’s full essay below…

My Life with Lupie – @AnnieColbert

I felt like a dork, standing nearly naked, only wearing mismatched socks and a paper gown, battling unsuccessfully with the plastic “belt“ to cover as much of my winter-white pale skin as possible. I hate paper gowns. If sitting in a doctor’s office does not make you feel uncomfortable enough, the gown will surely increase your anxiety. In all of my vulnerability and uneasiness of the moment, the doctor unexpectedly introduced me to my new friend Lupie. The beginning of our tumultuous relationship lacked an instantaneous bond. At seventeen, years of chronic illness already weakened my physical strength and my mental strength drained when Lupie arrived. Lupie possessed an amazing presence and intimidating strength, yet was quiet and mischievous.

Our constant companionship and Lupie’s desire for social isolation led to inevitable personality clashes, as I prefer social interactions. Early mornings sparked our most hostile confrontations. Lupie drowsily laid in bed, eager to sleep the day away despite my stubborn insistence to be active. Our confrontations tested my physical prowess, and often brought me to a state filled with shooting pains stabbing at my joints. I would lay in such pain that my only motion was to wipe the tears streaming down my feverish face. I triumphed occasionally, dragging Lupie around with me to school, but Lupie and I soon realized the lacking compassion expressed by students and administrators made our attendance unwelcome. Lupie’s introduction to my other friends garnered disparaging reactions ranging from complete disregard to harsh criticisms. Ridiculing comments concerning my dependence on Lupie faltered my attempts for a ‘normal’ high school experience. Lupie and I were alone.

Continue reading on her blog…